Orkut

It has been about 10 months now that I have joined a forum called 'Orkut'. It was developed as a project by a Standford Phd student called Orkut Buyukkokten (in pic) while working for Google. Prior to 2006, my scrap book contained only 26 scraps, so effectively, majority of my scraps (~650) have come in the past 5 months or so with a sudden sharp surge in the last month or so.

Point being made, I am getting addicted to Orkut nowadays. Though I hate to admit it, the lack of a female companion has left me peeping into profile of potential 'frnz' from the opposite sex. Frnz who do not have pics uploaded meet the fate of a closed tab window. Searches are made on females between 20-25 years of age, single and with pics. If the frn happens to be remotely close to called soothing to the eyes, a quick glimpse on the scrap works as KLPD (Khade L pe Danda). All these frnz already seem to have a plethora of admirers and have gone through innumerable requests for frnship. On a serious note, I would like to meet someone who has actually met their soulmate on Orkut (is there someone reading this?). Maybe, as they say, angoor khatte (you crib for something you dont have).

Socializing on Orkut has its own fun. There is a hidden pleasure to read about other's scraps. I have been updated on whats happening in the life of people I know, but mostly, they serve as topics for gossip and idle thoughts.

People have various pics uploaded on their profile page and album. Skeletons, cartoons, self pics, film stars, close up view, far away shots; you just find everything. Also, I find that no one writes a bad testimonial; even for their sworn enemies. It is strange how people want to look goodie goodie on a public forum, in turn trying hard not upset others. Today, I will try to select 20 of the interesting testimonials excerpts that I have come across on the profile pages of my frnz, not necessarily in order of their rankings.

• "Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen.. introducing the most inertial object in the universe, to the extent of defying most of Newtonian and Einsteinian methodologies of motion..."

• "bhagwaan ne 32 daant diye hain...aur ye aadmi ek ek daant ka pura use karta hai..khud to bakwaas karta rehta hai aur doosron ki bakwaas mein pure 32 daant khol kar hansata hai, bhale kuch samajh mein aaye ya na aaye....ghutno pe pura jor dekar faltu ke ideas nikalata rehta, jo mere jaisa samajhdar aadmi hi ignore kar sakta hai....mere jaise bhole bhale insaan pe rahu bankar chadha hua hai. bahane marne mein to god hai. ground pe goal na pade to adidas walon ki galti hai jo itne gande studs banaye. samajha samajha ke thak gaya ki budhapa aa gaya lekin inhe jawani chadhi huyee hai..bolne ka man to nahin karta lekin ab ye aadmi stud hai to main kya kar sakta hoon...sarnoff walon ko bhi apni bakwaas suna ke pata liya aur ab california mein gandagi karne ja raha hai.Chal dil ke paththar rakh ke bol raha hoon BEST OF LUCK!!!"

• "hey thanks for the testimonial.now i have to say nice things about u...."

• "about aayush..OK thats enough..;-)"

• "jab saara jag sota hai tab Aks jaagta hai:), ullu kahi ka:D.."

• "Inka naam hai Ashish singh aur pyaar se log inhein Puppy Singh kehte hain....
  par hum inhe pyaar se Puppy Sir bulaate hain."

• "Discuss Gandhi and independence with him and he'll come down to Gandhi's sex life within 2 minutes."

• "I Have been forced to write this thing ... and i don't know what to write .."

• "koi tumhara testimonial nahi likh raha ..chalo main hi tumhari thodi burai kar deta hun.."

• "Every other testimonial abt him is absurdly incorrect.U should watch him smile...all 11,23,456 teeth are visible...and he praises his own hair(called BAAL in bengali).I am still angry with him for shifting from Synth to guitar...and he uses the world most pathetic processor..."

• "shouts alot, otherwise ok"

• "..jab Chatterjee suna to paya ye to apne Babumooshaai hain..ab ye Pakisatan main rehte hain hum INDIA main..means ye saath wale room main rehte hain.."

• "l... i wrote u such a nice testimonial.... but then i clicked backspace and it went away. :(......... wait lemme try n remember...."

• " XYZ Kutta hai......main nahi sabhi kahte hai...." (name witheld for privacy)

• "as he so pithily put it...is a DOG!...but no one knows how to piss the shit out of girls better than this dude..and they love 'im for it...go figure!!"

• "..He is the laziest character around and gives excuse that he is a great manager. He thinks that he is a good imitator but murders all filmi dialogues in the most pathetic manner. His supposedly sarcastic comments are funnily weird.."

• "..Claims that he doesnt drink but as soon as one peg of vodka goes in, becomes senti.......(n slaps himself)....."

• "..this guy is a great all-rounder(dont take it too literally,some parts are not so round but are the way they should be.."

• "main keyboard pe haath rakkhke ye kasam khata hoon ki main jo kuch bhi type karoonga sach karoonga aur sach ke siwa kuch nahi karoonga..."

• "Ravi is a gud boy...Ravi has got two ears, two eyes, two legs, two arms but God has given him only one nose and one mouth like all of us...haha...bad one..but i m serious..i dont lie."

Anyone who finds out that their testimonials have been reflected above may go and sue Orkut. Dont come to me. Comments welcome.

The Hummer

Starting in the reverse chronological order of the events, I start off with the latest and a big addition to my living in America.

3:25pm, May19 2006 (Pittsburgh Internation Airport): My mobile rang suddenly when I was waiting for my delayed flight to Washington DC to arrive. I was on my way to DC and had already intimated my manager that I would be arriving late, so that he may leave the keys of the hut (the corporate housing that I was being provided, it was a joke actually why these guys called it a hut in place of palace) in office. It was one of my managers calling again. I answered the call and he told me the location where I would find the keys. Then came the question,"How will you commute to the hut?". Taxi, of course. What else does he expect? "Alright, I am also leaving keys of the corporate car, it would be standing in the parking lot. Have a great weekend buddy!!". He hung up. I did not know what to say.

For a person whose father used to feel scared sitting besides him in India, lest something should happen, I did not have an American driving license. Though I had an Internation Driving Permit, I had never driven on American roads. My closest friends at INI would not let me touch their cars. Anyways, I had to think about it when I reached there. Fly.

5:45 pm: I was standing in the parking lot, not knowing which car was it. I tried pressing the autolock keys to see which car beeps. I could hear some car beep at a distance. Rather than banging my head on it, I called my manager while walking towards the direction from where the beeping sound came. As I spoke to him, I could not believe my eyes. The other side of the phone shouted, " Its a HUMMER. The BIG one!!". I hung up and loaded my luggage into the truck. I was sitting for another 20 minutes trying to figure out what were the control mechanisms with the car. I called up Eric to ask how to disable the hand brake, but it was more a call in joy rather than being one wanting for help.

6:20 pm: I pushed the accelerator for the first time. Keep to the right. Right. Right!! I cried to myself. I was reading a map to the hut, keeping onto the right, watching other zip by and slow enough not to over run an ant with the Hummer. As I entered into the parking lot of the hut complex, playing children stood upto see who was this coming in? As I parked my car and came out, I called up Nick and Eric. Both of them did not believe I had a Hummer from the company. Now what does one do with that?

10:25 pm: Mike, Mao and I went to Giant to buy some Grocery in the Hummer. It was great fun as no car would drive for long infront of the Hummer. Nobody has parked besides 'my car' after one week of driving. We went on a drive on the freeway for about 15 minutes. After we came back home, I felt I had reached some kind of a milestone. The mis trust shown by my friends in my driving, and by others, had been wiped clean.

I drove to Maryland to my aunt's place this last friday for the memorial day weekend, a drive of about 60 miles. It feels great to see raised eye brows on the road. It feels great to drive a HUMMER.

Long time no post

Long time since I wrote anything on the blog. A lot of water has passed down the river in these three and a half months. I will take some time off this summer to reflect on past happenings and feelings. Specifically, something on

• INI Open house
• Internship search
• Trip to SFO
• First week at Verisign

Watch this space.