Guest Column (II)

Picking up with my series of guest columns again, here is the next one from the Wingman.

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10:21pm:
Walking down the street, I'm talking on my cellphone with my parents, just another boring day heading home from INI.... or so I thought.

"Excuse me, can you please help me?"

I hear from a frantic looking guy about my age.

"You won't believe this but I'm having an emergency and I need some money!"

I'm thinking- hello scamming college student, how are you?

He goes on to explain: "I'm from West Virginia University and I came up here with my girlfriend to go to a party. We were at the Kappa Alpha... or something frat party, you wouldn't believe what happened. They started calling us rednecks and much worse."

Meanwhile, we exchanged cell numbers. On another note, his girlfriend was from Ohio. It's probably best that I not go into how Michigan isn't a great state but it is far better than Ohio.
Anyway, he continues:

"After that they stole my iPod and our wallets. We tried calling all the police but they told us to get off the property. So, here I am without any money, and we are out of gas. You are the first person to even talk to us when we asked for help. Can you please give me some money just so that I can get some gas."

I'm thinking to myself, if he is acting he's at least earned $20, he's taken 5 minutes and put on quite a show, Tom Cruise gets paid a lot more for 5 minutes and he's not half as convincing. So, "Take me to the gas station a block down and I'll fill you up."

He merrily exclaims "Thank you", like fifteen times. As I was walking toward his car his plate was from Pennsylvania, so that seemed a litte sketchy. Further, I asked if he was a football fan, he said he was, and I asked how high WVU got in the rankings, he didn't know, that also seemed sketchy(because this was one of the best years ever for WVU. I asked him about where in WV he was from, and although I hadn't been to the exact town he mentioned, his knowledge of WV checked out. Nonetheless, I felt that I need to help him for two reasons. One, because that's the way that Jesus would roll. Second, I felt bad that he had a bad impression of the people at CMU. I felt that the people here were amongst the finest caliber of people that I had met. So, I paid to fill up his tank. I asked him if he wanted any food from inside and he said that they already had food. While I was filling it up, I was bombarded with a million more thank yous. More interestingly, he was giving me his address, and about to tell me his social security number. I stopped him, and explained that I could steal his life (like on "The Net" movie) with his social. Inside the gas station he asked for "/Like $20/" for tolls. I know West Virgina well enough to know that there are 3 tolls, $1.50 apiece, that he will travel through, so I have him $7, just to be safe. Then I paid my Credit Card, paying careful attention to make sure that he didn't steal my CC#.

When riding back to my place he mentioned that if he ran into more trouble then maybe I could wire him some money. I didn't say anything, but I thought: Dude, your creative but if you want to rob me, it saves us both time if you use a gun. Realistically, if he was a con artist, his story probably would have been better. Legitimate people in crisis can't think straight. I asked him if he wanted to come in for a cup of hot chocolate and he declined because of the inclement road conditions.

11:30 pm
I am back inside my house, I was weighing whether Bonnie and Clyde (we will call them) were legitimate or scammers. I trust in my discernment skills, I've been in worse situations, plenty of times... so I know how it feels, and how one often reacts franticly. He was so hectic and careless with his approach, I voted that he was legitimate. Anyway, I went onto Facebook and Clyde had a unique name, so I checked at WVU to see if he was on there. I didn't know his last name, but there was indeed a person named Clyde. He was class of '08 which is about the age that he looked like when I met Clyde face-to-face. He has a friend named Bonnie, who's picture has a picture of the man that I met... So it is a picture of Bonnie and Clyde both, on Bonnie's Facebook Profile. I poked them on Facebook. His story may be true or not. I'd rather both pay a scammer and a guy in trouble, as long as I can help the guy in trouble. The cards have been dealt, there was a high opening of a $30 bid, I raised the bet and put my trust in the pot, soon it will be time to show our cards...

Am I foolish? Am I generous? Would anyone else have done this?

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Pitt-ed

Its painful to change but one must evolve, The heart bleeds to let go but nothing was yours.
It snows outside but the fire burns within, Sleep I must but its not yet time.
--Me

10 'lessons' were realized in the week gone by. Some would stick and the rest would melt away- what would remain is a changed myself.

1. People are different when one is away as compared to being in constant touch. This is a flaw in how the brain perceives relationships and the manner in which humans nurture expectations. Familiarity breeds contempt and ignoring it leads to mental agony.
   
2. Its important to talk about problems in a relationship ONLY if one cherishes the presence of the other person in one's life. It needs to be done with tender yet firm words. The other person should be told how important he/she is for you in CLEAR terms. If not, forget about it.
   
3. It is "easier" for Americans to be rash and overlook other's feelings. They will have the best explanations in the world for it, the underlying fact being that they just cannot help it.
   
4. Females and males react differently to situations. Its in the genes, blame God for it. Its not just the female who "thinks" a lot about relationships and cries. Guys do it too.
   
5. I was so much at peace when I cared less. When I do, I feel like being chained.
6. Friends take notice when I use the word "Lord" instead of "God" or "bhagwaan".
7. A friend wanted to slap and tell me to stop acting like a kid. It never happened. I am sad but its good to be patient.
   
8. My reputation precedes me to a lot of places. Its tough fighting myself.
9. I am really enjoying my psychology oriented classes. Negotiations and Professional Writing have already added so much to me in a week. I am thinking a lot more freely now (as if it was not enough already!).
10. Six second of silence is enough to unnerve most people into speaking something which they rather would not have spoken.

I have an unanswered question- Is it correct to talk about someone's characteristic behavior which might be inappropriate at times? Or should one choose to ignore them? Who the person is matters a lot- but how does one decide if one is bordering on hurting someone as compared to genuinely wanting to help? How much is the 'cultural difference' discount? How much of subtle insult and bugging is enough? How would I know if "I" am the person myself someday?

I sat outside in the cold past midnight for more than an hour watching cars go by. Thoughtful? No. Brooding? Maybe. Hopeful? Yes!!

ps: The biggest lesson- People rarely tell you what they think about you and more often than not the truth is not what one would like to hear.

Indian Diaries: PicSpeak

"If you clap at the gates of the Golconda fort, the guard at the top of the hill would be able to hear it!" - Beautiful remains of the Golconda fort and the open air light and sound show theatre.

"Ma, these roads were built in the 18th century for bullock carts. Now, they are somehow carrying the burden of SUVs " - View from the top of Charminar

"Why dont people grow up in this country and realize that these structures are of national heritage."- Names of people written at the famous Charminar, Hyderabad

"Nature at its best!"- A crow eating a fish at the sea shore

"Click it fast! I cannot touch these thorns for long without looking at them" - A botanist's son in love with Cactus- these were rare species specially brought in from Africa.
" Four rupees each! (Looks at us) No. Five rupees."- Coconuts are sold for less than 10 cents on the roadside
"Road rules are meant to be broken in this country"- A biker crossing the railroad even when the gates are closed.

"Chalo dance karo! Sahab ko salaam karo (Dance and salute the master!)"- A monkey which is a common view on Indian streets.

"Wow, these lucky crocs can have orgies all night long (thought!)" - Crocodile farm maintained by the Irula tribe. It was started and is headed by an American named Romulus Whitaker.

"India is a diverse country where all the religions known to man exist in perfect harmony"- A Muslim guide at a Hindu temple right outside the sanctum sanctorum.

"Wow. How did the artisans built such structures out of single pieces of rock 900 years from now?" - The beautiful temples at Mahabalipuram were almost lost in the Tsunami of 2004

"Hey I know this stone. Its the one that was shown in National Geographic the other night!" - Stone carvings from the Pandava period at Mahabalipuram

"Bhaiya (brother), your kids would be like these once you marry a blonde in America" - My sister's comments on watching these kids play at Auroville Ashram

"This banyan tree is bigger than the one at Modern School" - Auroville Universal City, Pondicherry

"I wont die without seeing your marriage. Marry an American if you want but please do it fast." - My beloved granny
"I can feel something crawl up my leg shooting this. I should get out of the bushes now!" - Camping and waiting for Jesus in the backyard tent

"Wow, you are heavy. Hold on until the pic is taken!"- Church hopping on Christmas at midnight outside the Convent of Jesus and Mary- Ma's school.

"This is where I started from and this is where I come back" - On top of the Banyan Tree at Modern School.

Did someone say that pictures speaks more than words?

(ps: click on the pics for a better view)

Indian Diaries: The Beachside Getaway

January 1, 2007 5:40 am: “No flight is taking off before noon. We are going to the airport to just sleep there.”

It is not a pleasant feeling to sleep for a couple of hours on the night of December 31 and catch a flight at 6:40 am on the first day of the year thereafter. What was frustrating is the fact that despite the heavy fog in Delhi, the flight was not delayed officially. The airline staff does not announce the status until an hour before take off- which meant that I did not have enough time to get to the airport in case the flight was really on time! But this morning was different- the visibility was down to ZERO at 5 am! Delhi seemed like a cold closed room full of artificial smoke machines and though we reached on time for the boarding, the flight delay was imminent.

The last week or so had been physically tiring and mentally draining. Shopping in Delhi is the most hassling experience if one is not sure of what to buy. Although I had a pretty good idea about my needs, I was clueless when it came to buying gifts for friends back in Pittsburgh. Sarojini Nagar is one huge circus where every shopkeeper is a ringmaster in his own self displaying with aggressive vigor the best he had to offer. After walking past the shouting shopkeepers, the numerous fake Lee and UCB stalls and the infinite churidaars and lehengas for girls, I was more than a little dazed. The variety of choice and the varying sizes had confused me and I made a call to Pittsburgh just to ascertain the exact size of people concerned. Connaught place, Chandni Chowk and Lajpat Nagar were amongst the other Delhi hotspots I frequented this last week. The thought of shopping was irritating by the end of the week.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Indian flight 439 to Chennai. We would be taking off shortly. This flight is equipped with the CAT 3 Bravo system.”

My ears were not ringing. The flight was ultra modern- the plane, the seats, the food and most importantly the airhostesses were way better than the Chicago-New Delhi Air India flight I traveled in a fortnight back. Before we were up in the air, I was busy catching up on lost sleep. Finally, I was away on a vacation with my full family after five and a half years.

“I have been kissing and hugging people I am seeing after 16 months. This is the place I spent 21 years of my life and it’s unbelievable to come back to the same place and people again. It’s unreal.”

There are certain instances when one virtually switches between one era and another- say his past and the current- and it is all a mental adjustment. What one cannot anticipate is how and when the context switch would hit you. IT hit me this past week on Saturday evening. Until almost two weeks after landing on Indian soil, I was still complaining about missing Pittsburgh, its people and constantly comparing my lifestyle at the two places. The same phenomenon happened the first time I traveled to America and it probably happens to others too. What was different this time that I almost broke down while bidding good bye to a college friend. It was not about people not being able to meet- but the flood of good old memories which threatened to moisten my eyes in public. I was coming to terms with how much of India-my home- had changed, how much the people I knew had moved on in life, how much little I meant to so many people, how much more I was to a handful few and how in spite of all the big talk, I was still a simple Indian at my core. Sometimes looking in the mirror can be intimidating and that’s precisely what had happened to me; suddenly and unannounced! I felt sick. I kissed my mom and dad later in the evening, spoke to Bachu and Nicole until my balance ran out, spoke to my grandma about life’s philosophy, lit a bonfire and poured my heart over the burning embers.

“Help us to build the nation. Pay taxes and become a responsible citizen.”

The journey from Chennai to Pondicherry- about two and a half hours- was amazing except for the last 45 kilometers or so. Road infrastructure in this part of the country is impressive and I certainly did not mind paying 20 rupees twice as toll for the 100km/h + journey. The last stretch of the highway from Tindivanam to Pondicherry is not complete yet but I felt proud on seeing such world class infrastructure being developed here. The amazing thing about Indian highways is that the best SUV in the world still shares the road- and gives way- to bullock carts. I saw people standing in lines bare foot in the hot sun for miles outside the many temples on our way. And they were there in their thousands if not the millions. There certainly is chaos in this country but in every chaos there seems to be a manner which emerges out of the confusion. Although it would seem like an accident is imminent with people walking all around on roads, bicycles streaking across the highway perpendicular to the traffic flow and the odd animal stopping the movement of goods, it rarely does happen. People do stop or slow down- mostly grudgingly- but the larger concept of sharing is not lost. India is a big country with big problems but what keeps it going is the spiritual strength of its people stemming from our centuries old culture. Patience (and maybe Gandhigiri) is one principle India could teach the world a lesson or two in. Take similar problems to any other country and I am sure their system would collapse.

“No video cameras. No mobile phones. No shoes. Keep silent”.

The board outside the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in the former French colony left none in doubt about the code of conduct inside the Ashram. Noise on the outside suddenly turned into soothing silence once inside. The samadhi (resting place) of Sri Aurobindo is a shrine adorned with fresh flowers. I sat at one corner of the small enclosure around the shrine and tried meditating. Whether it was the lack of sleep or the power of the place as many believe, I was lost for the next 45 minutes or so. My family went inside the library on seeing me engrossed so deeply in though with closed eyes. I felt nothing around me but everything in my mind was lucid- I was asking tricky questions and getting answers for them. I felt cleansed.

“Man proposes. God disposes. This time, it was the opposite.”

I met up with Mukesh and Somenath, two close undergrad friends. I had planned to meet them in Bangalore but due to some change in plans, I was disappointed that my India trip would end up without meeting them. As author Robin Sharma would like to believe, for every desire that we have, there is a desire which has originated in the soul of the universe. They made plans to travel to Pondicherry without knowing I was coming here and it was last week that we knew that we could meet at a third place besides Delhi and Bangalore. It was a short meet but it just about managed to plug in another mental piece in this amazing India trip.

Sitting in the balcony of the ashram guest house, with the Bay of Bengal playing its orchestra 50 feet away- waves after waves hitting the rocks beneath where I sit- I can see a bright flood light at the end of the peer a mile away. It makes a portion of the ocean glitter like diamonds but the rest of it is dark and scary. Does that make the lit up waves- that I am attracted to watch- any different from the infinite expanse of the rest of the dark ocean? The rest of the ocean seems to be only swimming towards the light post. I cannot think of any better correlation in real life apart from the light post being analogous to God in our lives with everything He sheds light on being the most glorified thing we see. It’s not surprising that the ocean seems to be moving in His direction.

Staring at my screen, something just flashed my mind- though for a second only- some other things which seem to be from a previous life. Pittsburgh, INI, CMU, Deloitte, hardships and grades. Somehow, the people don’t seem to be from another planet- they seem to say I-miss-you with every breath.

This trip is an incredible escape from what I am and my mundane rat-raced lifestyle. I hope the next 6 days have more stored in them. For now, the waves come and go and I sit humming an old Kishore Kumar tune…

ps: This post was written in Pondicherry but I did not have the time to put it up until two days later in Chennai.