Guest Column (II)

Picking up with my series of guest columns again, here is the next one from the Wingman.

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10:21pm:
Walking down the street, I'm talking on my cellphone with my parents, just another boring day heading home from INI.... or so I thought.

"Excuse me, can you please help me?"

I hear from a frantic looking guy about my age.

"You won't believe this but I'm having an emergency and I need some money!"

I'm thinking- hello scamming college student, how are you?

He goes on to explain: "I'm from West Virginia University and I came up here with my girlfriend to go to a party. We were at the Kappa Alpha... or something frat party, you wouldn't believe what happened. They started calling us rednecks and much worse."

Meanwhile, we exchanged cell numbers. On another note, his girlfriend was from Ohio. It's probably best that I not go into how Michigan isn't a great state but it is far better than Ohio.
Anyway, he continues:

"After that they stole my iPod and our wallets. We tried calling all the police but they told us to get off the property. So, here I am without any money, and we are out of gas. You are the first person to even talk to us when we asked for help. Can you please give me some money just so that I can get some gas."

I'm thinking to myself, if he is acting he's at least earned $20, he's taken 5 minutes and put on quite a show, Tom Cruise gets paid a lot more for 5 minutes and he's not half as convincing. So, "Take me to the gas station a block down and I'll fill you up."

He merrily exclaims "Thank you", like fifteen times. As I was walking toward his car his plate was from Pennsylvania, so that seemed a litte sketchy. Further, I asked if he was a football fan, he said he was, and I asked how high WVU got in the rankings, he didn't know, that also seemed sketchy(because this was one of the best years ever for WVU. I asked him about where in WV he was from, and although I hadn't been to the exact town he mentioned, his knowledge of WV checked out. Nonetheless, I felt that I need to help him for two reasons. One, because that's the way that Jesus would roll. Second, I felt bad that he had a bad impression of the people at CMU. I felt that the people here were amongst the finest caliber of people that I had met. So, I paid to fill up his tank. I asked him if he wanted any food from inside and he said that they already had food. While I was filling it up, I was bombarded with a million more thank yous. More interestingly, he was giving me his address, and about to tell me his social security number. I stopped him, and explained that I could steal his life (like on "The Net" movie) with his social. Inside the gas station he asked for "/Like $20/" for tolls. I know West Virgina well enough to know that there are 3 tolls, $1.50 apiece, that he will travel through, so I have him $7, just to be safe. Then I paid my Credit Card, paying careful attention to make sure that he didn't steal my CC#.

When riding back to my place he mentioned that if he ran into more trouble then maybe I could wire him some money. I didn't say anything, but I thought: Dude, your creative but if you want to rob me, it saves us both time if you use a gun. Realistically, if he was a con artist, his story probably would have been better. Legitimate people in crisis can't think straight. I asked him if he wanted to come in for a cup of hot chocolate and he declined because of the inclement road conditions.

11:30 pm
I am back inside my house, I was weighing whether Bonnie and Clyde (we will call them) were legitimate or scammers. I trust in my discernment skills, I've been in worse situations, plenty of times... so I know how it feels, and how one often reacts franticly. He was so hectic and careless with his approach, I voted that he was legitimate. Anyway, I went onto Facebook and Clyde had a unique name, so I checked at WVU to see if he was on there. I didn't know his last name, but there was indeed a person named Clyde. He was class of '08 which is about the age that he looked like when I met Clyde face-to-face. He has a friend named Bonnie, who's picture has a picture of the man that I met... So it is a picture of Bonnie and Clyde both, on Bonnie's Facebook Profile. I poked them on Facebook. His story may be true or not. I'd rather both pay a scammer and a guy in trouble, as long as I can help the guy in trouble. The cards have been dealt, there was a high opening of a $30 bid, I raised the bet and put my trust in the pot, soon it will be time to show our cards...

Am I foolish? Am I generous? Would anyone else have done this?

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